Dear The One that Got Away

toyou

“I will never leave you.” I can still remember how you muttered those words while you were holding my hand. I felt like chills went down from my head to my heart, then to my hands. I wanted to hold you the whole day, but I know that you can’t stay. You held my hand so tight, and made me feel like you will never let go of it, but I knew you would, not that day, but after months or years. I predicted the ending, and it all happened.

You said you will never leave me but you did.

We had a fight and you told me you can’t take it anymore. You said that I talk too much, and that I am always overreacting. But who would not overreact when you can’t even send a message a day, when you can watch effin’ series instead of texting me? I have reasons, honey. I have reasons when I said you’re making me feel lonely and unwanted..unloved..and definitely not important to you. Do you have any idea how much I miss you? No, because you only think about yourself, your ego, your pride. Damn those things. They set us apart.

You said you will always be there for me, but there are days when you’re not around.

We lost communication and you said that you were busy doing things and work, but I knew you weren’t. You were able to go online one time, and that day I couldn’t remember receiving any message from you. You were online, but not for me. You were online for someone else. Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s what you made me feel. I felt down.

There was a time when you did not text me the whole day so I got myself up and sent a message to say good night. I was not going to sleep yet, and I just wanted to see if you will respond. You did, and it broke my heart because you said, “Oh honey, I’m sorry. I forgot to send a message to you.” Wow. Just wow. You forgot about it, so you forgot about me. That’s what it means, right? Correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s what your words made me think.

You said you love me, but that’s not what you made me feel.

You made me feel lost, down, stressed, depressed..and even broken. I felt so lonely. I felt like I’m not important to you. You missed some important dates in our lives – our 3rd month, my birthday..and the following months of our relationship. It broke my heart. I could’ve understood if it was just our monthsary, but you forgot about my birthday..your girlfriend’s birthday. My God. You almost killed me. T^T

You said you want to end up with me, but..you ended..us.

I knew this would come to an end, but I lied to myself and said that you will never do that to me..that you will never leave me, but you did. You tore my heart into pieces like it was just a paper you once used to draw your future into. You left me hanging. You left me when I was still holding on. You left me when I was still picturing ourselves in the future. You wasted everything we built together. You wasted me and my heart.

But thanks, anyway. You made me feel stronger. Now I know when someone’s not really into me. You helped me grow up and learn. Thank you for breaking my heart. Thank you for giving me rain when I wanted sunshine. I learned how to give importance to sad things, when all it ever did was make me realize you were a wrong guy..all along. Thank you.

Thank you for leaving me.

Someone better found me, kept me safe, gave me love, and cared for me. Thank you for pushing me away, ’cause I fell down and he found me. He helped me stand up again. He made me stronger, fiercer. I found someone better, and I will always be thankful to you for breaking my heart. I met him, and now he’s fixing me. Thank you.

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